Strong framing, thank you gentlemen of the community.
Show her love always, thank you David Deida.
Restructure thinking to place bad thoughts in the past, and bring happiness to future cognizance, thank you Bandler / NLP / Business Pursuasion.
Knowing that it's really okay to realize I have a problem with alcohol and never touch the shit again because I don't trust myself with it any longer, thank you BestFriend's Dad.
I'm still keeping my books for my future son to read, but I think I'm on my exit from the active community at this point. God bless you all.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Student RBF Revisited
I've already learned to screen people I choose to mentor, in a way that is close to screening the girls I want to "go after." I didn't screen this guy at all, and I'll still be his friend but I'm not helping him anymore, not the way I intended to. Sorry bro!
Just wanted to update you guys in case you were interested to see what happened with this one. He ended up totally freaking the girl out by annihilating her phone with text messages before I even got to him, so we were already in damage control. And then she called me basically freaking out because he threatened her in some sort of way.
Again, alcohol is starting to be something I dislike because I'm not quite sure many people can really handle it the right way. Like, I can physically feel it going down differently when I'm at my limit. And when I pass that limit and tell myself to shut up, problems arise (blacking out, fights, arguments), and keep in mind I'm scrawny so I'm really trying to kill myself being this way up against some large folks. *shudder*
Just wanted to update you guys in case you were interested to see what happened with this one. He ended up totally freaking the girl out by annihilating her phone with text messages before I even got to him, so we were already in damage control. And then she called me basically freaking out because he threatened her in some sort of way.
Again, alcohol is starting to be something I dislike because I'm not quite sure many people can really handle it the right way. Like, I can physically feel it going down differently when I'm at my limit. And when I pass that limit and tell myself to shut up, problems arise (blacking out, fights, arguments), and keep in mind I'm scrawny so I'm really trying to kill myself being this way up against some large folks. *shudder*
The Wall
I've come up on a serious inner game issue. I hadnt noticed this as "sticking point" in my relationships until yesterday. I have anger issues. I don't know how to deal with them.
I've ruined probably the best relationship I've ever had because of too much drinking and anger, and yes words are the absolute most painful weapons ever, I promise you. I would never lay my hands on a woman in a threatening manner, or as to even hint at cause harm- however that may actually hurt less than some of the things I've said recently. And it has caused a huge tremendous rift in my utopia.
As a result I've also immediately decided to not drink, ever again. I tried to slow it down, cut it back, but I went right back at it worse than before. And now I am stating here and now that I have a problem drinking responsibly, and I have problems with anger, and it needs to end NOW before something worse happens. I wish I realized this with one of the other previous girls, but the fact is this is (was? :( ) only my second serious serious relationship.
And I'm at the point now where I'm looking for someplace new to live, even considering switching up cities, each choice bringing with it some undeniable pain that I will have to face.
And I am up against the wall. I still haven't processed my divorce and it's starting to become a festering wound in my life that needs to go. I've got to focus on me again. At least my going out budget has taken a serious plummet, so I won't be wasting money on that stuff ever again.
And to my friends who brew their own beer and really want me to try some, I'm sorry. But you might as well think I've lost my mind and joined a cult or a church or something. But this is me, as a man, as a controller of my own destiny realizing now that I allow alcohol to ruin my relationships, my life, and the lives of others, and I'm done with it. It is internalized, no offense, and if you truly are my friends you will support me and let it at that (and I know you will).
I will know what is to come of my life very shortly. I will either disappear from the scene entirely, and enjoy my monogamous relationship forever, or come back with must better inner game, and a much better game plan. The little guy downstairs is already restless.
For now,
Beek
I've ruined probably the best relationship I've ever had because of too much drinking and anger, and yes words are the absolute most painful weapons ever, I promise you. I would never lay my hands on a woman in a threatening manner, or as to even hint at cause harm- however that may actually hurt less than some of the things I've said recently. And it has caused a huge tremendous rift in my utopia.
As a result I've also immediately decided to not drink, ever again. I tried to slow it down, cut it back, but I went right back at it worse than before. And now I am stating here and now that I have a problem drinking responsibly, and I have problems with anger, and it needs to end NOW before something worse happens. I wish I realized this with one of the other previous girls, but the fact is this is (was? :( ) only my second serious serious relationship.
And I'm at the point now where I'm looking for someplace new to live, even considering switching up cities, each choice bringing with it some undeniable pain that I will have to face.
And I am up against the wall. I still haven't processed my divorce and it's starting to become a festering wound in my life that needs to go. I've got to focus on me again. At least my going out budget has taken a serious plummet, so I won't be wasting money on that stuff ever again.
And to my friends who brew their own beer and really want me to try some, I'm sorry. But you might as well think I've lost my mind and joined a cult or a church or something. But this is me, as a man, as a controller of my own destiny realizing now that I allow alcohol to ruin my relationships, my life, and the lives of others, and I'm done with it. It is internalized, no offense, and if you truly are my friends you will support me and let it at that (and I know you will).
I will know what is to come of my life very shortly. I will either disappear from the scene entirely, and enjoy my monogamous relationship forever, or come back with must better inner game, and a much better game plan. The little guy downstairs is already restless.
For now,
Beek
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